Truly Mine Read online

  Tyler: Again. ☺

  Tyler: You will scream my name again next weekend if I have it my way.

  Me: It just so happens that I like your way. And screaming. And the view.

  Tyler: I assume you’re not talking about the view out my window.

  Me: No, the view when I’m screaming your name.

  Tyler: I’m hard. And you aren’t here. I wish you were.

  Me: I wish I were, too. I like you when you’re hard.

  Tyler: You’re very playful tonight. Either you really did miss me, or you’ve been drinking. My guess is that you’ve been drinking.

  Me: Your guess would be correct. Kind of.

  Me: Yes, I have been drinking, but I also miss you.

  Tyler: I find that hard to believe. You’re a beautiful woman in a very big city. There must be men lined up, wanting to spend time with you. Are you out with friends now?

  Wow. He has no idea just how true that is. No idea that they pay me to spend time with them. No idea that I am numb to every minute of it. He would hate me if he knew.

  Me: No, I’m home. I don’t socialize much really. I don’t trust anyone here. I’ve been burned a few times, so I’ve settled on being the crazy cat lady. I’m good with it though.

  Tyler: How many cats do you have?

  His response makes me laugh.

  Me: Ha! None. I guess that just makes me a crazy lady.

  Tyler: Or a smart woman waiting for the right man.

  I don’t know what to say to that. I’m not sure there’s a man who can deal with the baggage I’m carrying.

  Me: I’m not waiting. Looking forward to seeing you again though.

  Tyler: It’s Saturday, so just six short days until you feel good again, and I’ll be happy to make sure you get a good night’s sleep while I’m there.

  I look at the time on my phone, and it’s 12:03 a.m. I could lie here and talk to him all night.

  Me: About that favor…

  Tyler: Oh, yes. Name it.

  Me: There’s a box of photos on my mother’s desk that I meant to grab. Could you bring them to me when you come to New York? Dara has a key to the house.

  I should have taken them when I was there. I was so overwhelmed by everything that I set them on her desk and forgot to grab them when I left.

  Tyler: Of course. Anything else?

  Me: No. Thank you, Ty. I can’t wait to see you.

  Tyler: If you think of anything else, just let me know.

  Me: I should probably quit bothering you now.

  Tyler: You’re not bothering me.

  Tyler: Just the opposite.

  Tyler: I wish I were there to kiss you good night.

  Me: Or more?

  I hit Send and smile as I drift off to sleep.

  I got another rare full night’s sleep.

  I’m an early bird. All my adult life I have been. If I sleep past six o’clock, it’s a late morning for me.

  I pop a pod of vanilla bean coffee in my coffee maker and wait for the light to flash to show it’s ready. I swear, it takes forever to initialize. Until I bought this single-serve coffee maker, I never knew how long two minutes really was. When it’s finally ready, I hit the Brew button and smell the absolutely heavenly smell of freshly brewed coffee. Nothing better in this world.

  Taking my coffee and my phone out to the balcony overlooking the park, I sit in the comfy patio chair that is my BFF on weekends. I spend a whole lot of time in this chair. I read out here all weekend long. I have read hundreds of books while curled up in this chair. I drink my coffee here in the mornings and my wine in the evenings. This is my heaven.

  I look down at my phone, and my heart skips a beat. There’s a text from Tyler.

  Tyler: For you. I didn’t get to make it for you when you were here.

  He’s sent me a photo of two cups of coffee. They are on the railing of his deck. I can see the same view that I saw out of his dining room doors.

  I’m speechless—or typeless, in this case.

  Finally, I text him back.

  Me: It looks heavenly. Wish I were there to enjoy it with you.

  He doesn’t respond. I stare at the photo of the cups of coffee. One of his hands is in the photo, and I shiver from head to toe. That hand is familiar to me. His hands have touched every inch of my body. He has wiped tears from my eyes and punched a boy or two who made me cry those tears.

  What the hell am I doing? I’m only going to get hurt. I reflect on Lissa’s and Marie’s comments. Live, Truly.

  I guess that’s all I can do. Nobody can break me again—not even Tyler.

  I’ll have fun for a while. With that thought, my phone buzzes.

  Tyler: One day, you will be. Have a good day. I hope you’ll think of me.

  I don’t respond this time. I’m not buzzed like I was last night. Reading over those texts, I’m a little pissed off at myself. I made him think I have feelings for him. Of course, I don’t. I absolutely don’t. None. Not one little feeling for him.

  I go on about my day and think of Tyler every single moment of it.

  pronunciation dih-spir-it

  (v.) to withhold hope; depress

  Tyler

  I will board a plane for New York tomorrow morning, and I haven’t heard a word from Truly since Saturday morning. It was a brief exchange of texts. I hope the plan is still as we talked about Friday night. She’d been drinking, and I fear she might not have intended to say all that she did.

  I’m treading in unfamiliar territory with her, and it’s wearing on my nerves. I’ve been a bit out of sorts since I bumped into her a few weeks ago, and I’ve stayed busy all week in an attempt to keep her off my mind. I finished files on two cases that I already handed off to Eden and Kailin. Early in the week, Eden noticed that my head was not in the game.

  Of all my sisters, I’m closest to her. Being only a year apart and both of us into sports, we spent a lot of time together. We hung out in the same social circle and even had classes together in high school.

  She invited Rion and me over for dinner tonight. I’m sure it’s an attempt to find out what’s been occupying my mind.

  When her attempts to get me to talk don’t work, she flat-out asks me, “So, Ty, what’s been going on with you this week?”

  I continue eating as I only shrug my shoulder and shake my head. I know full well that’s not going to satisfy her.

  “I’m pretty sure he’s hung up on some chick named Truly who smells like an angel,” Rion says casually. “Cool name, huh?”Then, he stands and disappears into the kitchen.

  Eden’s head spins my way. She props her chin on her folded hands and grins. “Is that so, Ty?”

  I take my time before answering her. I swallow my last bite and then take a drink. Picking my napkin up, I dab the corners of my mouth just to aggravate her.

  “Hello? Spill it, Burke!”

  Finally, I laugh and shake my head again. Obviously, I don’t want to talk to my sister about women. Least of all about Truly.

  “Truly? As in Truly Rowan right?” she questions me, looking surprised.

  “I’m not hung up on anyone.”

  “Hmm…interesting.” She stands and begins to clear the table. “That’s why you’re going to New York to deal with her case. I wondered why Dara wasn’t just mailing her the documents.”

  “No, I’m going because Dara insisted that she needs this done quickly.”I stand and help her. “When will Cal be home?”

  Eden’s husband, Cal, left last week to tend to his father who suddenly fell ill.

  “Hopefully, Monday. The doctors are running every test known to man and can find nothing wrong with him, according to Cal. It’s so strange.”

  I can see that Eden is concerned with her father-in-law’s health scare. I make a mental note to text Cal when I leave.

  “Aunt E, did you make your amazing peanut butter pie?” Rion joins us again, carrying what’s obviously Eden’s peanut butter pie.

  There’s no pie like hers. They
are made with love—or something sorta like it. Seriously though, she is an amazing baker. She puts a lot of time into everything she makes. All our family and friends look forward to Eden’s pies at holidays and events.

  “Of course I did. I miss baking for you, Rion. Why did you have to grow up?”

  “He’s only gotten older. Not so much grown-up.” I grab my stomach as Rion fake jabs me.

  “You’re the one sweating a girl, Dad.” He wraps one arm around my neck and slaps my back. “I can help you out. Show you some tricks.”

  Laughing, I shove him away from me and then sit back down at the table where Eden serves us all dessert.

  “Oh my God, Aunt E. This is so fucking good!”

  In unison, Eden and I both scold Rion for his choice of words, “Mouth, Rion David!”

  He looks up at the ceiling and rolls his eyes back in his head in an exaggerated response to either the pie or to Eden and me. I’m not sure which.

  “I’m sorry. It’s so good though. Will you please make me one to take back to school?” he says, still chewing. “I’ll love you forever.”

  “And if I don’t?” Eden says, smiling lovingly at Rion.

  Eden has always been more of a mother figure to Rion than an aunt, and it clearly shows in the way they interact. Their relationship is one of the few things that make me emotional.

  I met Rion’s mother, Renee, at a party during my senior year of law school. We had nothing more than a one-night stand—or so I thought. Three months later, she called to tell me she was pregnant. Neither of us wanted to embarrass our families, so I moved to Connecticut where she was living, and we got married.

  By the time Rion was three years old, we couldn’t live the lie anymore. I moved back to Fallport, and Rion spent his summer breaks with me. Then, when he was ten, he returned to his mother, and she had married while he was away. He didn’t get along with his new stepfather. So, he came to live with me. He’s been here ever since. A child never really fit into Renee’s plan anyway. She was a businesswoman. She later told me marriage and children were never part of her plans.

  Rion will be heading back to Columbia shortly to finish his law degree. Against my advice, he’s following the family tradition and studying law. I sure hope he enjoys it more than I did. Sitting in an office all day long, solving other people’s problems, does absolutely nothing for me.

  “It’s getting late. We’ll help you clean up and get out of your way, Eden,”I offer.

  “Oh, don’t worry about it. It’ll keep me occupied for a little bit.” There’s emptiness in her tone. She misses her husband.

  On the drive home, Rion and I talk about the things he’d like to do before heading back to school for the fall semester. It looks like a float trip down the Mackinaw River is in my near future and a bonfire at the house just before he leaves. Knowing Rion, he’ll be inviting no less than half the town. I don’t mind at all though. The more, the merrier.

  When we pass the bar, I notice Cory’s truck is out front. Once I drop Rion off at home, I go back to check on Cory. I pull into the parking spot next to his truck before heading inside, and I nearly turn around when I see who’s sitting next to him.

  “Hey, baby!” Katie is off her barstool and has her arms around my neck before I can make an exit.

  I don’t want her touching me. I don’t want to smell her cheap perfume. I don’t want to deal with her at all. I reach around and take hold of her wrists before pulling her arms off of my neck. She looks at me, confused, as I step away from her.

  “What’s wrong, baby?”

  I narrow my eyes and disapprovingly look at her. “Don’t call me that.”

  “Ugh, Tyler. What’s your problem?”

  “I don’t have a problem, Katie.” I sidestep her and walk toward Cory.

  His head is hanging down, and he’s hunched over the bar. I take the seat next to him. As soon as my ass hits the stool, Katie is in the seat next to mine. I suck in a deep breath and try to ignore her. She doesn’t make it easy though.

  “Hey, Cory. What’s up?” I ask.

  “What are you doing in here on a weeknight?”he asks, surprised to see me.

  “Saw your truck out front.”

  The bartender appears in front of me.

  I order my beer and continue, “I was wondering why you were here on a weeknight, so I thought I’d stop in to see what’s up.”

  Katie’s hand lands on my knee. I don’t bother looking at her as I remove it.

  Cory takes a lazy long drink of his beer before answering me, “Why am I here any night? My wife can’t stand me, and my kids don’t give a shit if they ever see me. Why the fuck shouldn’t I be here?”

  Whoa, I didn’t expect that. “What are you talking about? Did something happen?”

  “Sure. Twenty-five years happened. Twenty-five fucking years. That’s a long damn time, Tyler. We’ve just changed. She’s changed. Ali got prettier, and I got uglier. She got smarter, and I’m still the same dumbass I’ve always been.” He looks at me for the first time since I got here. “Tyler, I swear, she’s getting younger, and I’m getting older. What the fuck is that? How the fuck do women do this shit? They get better with age and leave us in the dust.”

  I’m speechless. He looks away again, and I look down at my beer. I know what he’s talking about though. All three of my sisters are more beautiful and more intelligent than they were twenty years ago. They are stronger women and more confident in whom they are. Every year, they pick up a new interest or hobby and nail it like they were born to do it.

  I look over at Katie, and she’s listening to everything Cory’s saying.

  Cory and I don’t make it a habit to talk about our relationships in too much detail, at least not on purpose, but I could tell that something’s been wrong for a while now. He’s been spending more time at the bar and less time at home.

  Ali and Cory have been together since high school, and I hate to think of a day when they wouldn’t be married. I’m the least knowledgeable person when it comes to relationships, but I want to say or do something to help him out.

  “Can you leave us alone, Katie?”

  She’s pouty and in no hurry to leave.

  “Listen, I’ll find you, and we’ll talk when I’m done here. Okay?”

  She’s satisfied with that, and she smiles before bouncing off to a group on the other side of the room. She isn’t going to like what I have to say to her.

  Right now though, I want to let Cory get this shit off his chest. “What’s going on with the girls?”

  “Fuck, who knows? Not me. They’re never home. Never. I haven’t seen them all week.”

  “Are they giving you and Ali a hard time?”

  I would find that hard to believe. They’ve always been good girls.

  “According to Ali, everything’s fine. Just great. She says they are just normal teenage girls who would rather be with their friends than their parents. Like I said, I haven’t seen them all week.”He holds his finger up to alert the bartender that he needs another beer.

  “Have you told them that you want to see them? Maybe have dinner with them or something? I mean, look at us, Cory. We were the same way at their age.”

  He turns and looks at me. “I haven’t said shit to them. If they don’t want to take time out to see me, then I don’t care either.”

  That’s obviously bullshit. He cares. I contemplate for a moment about whether or not I should say what I’m thinking.

  What the hell?

  I throw it out there. “Kinda hard to see them when you’re at the bar almost every night.”

  He glares at me, not amused with the comment. “You might like sitting alone in an empty house, but I don’t.”

  Fair enough.

  “Where’s Ali?”I ask.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Running. Yoga. Book club. Photography class. Or maybe fucking some guy. Fuck if I know.”

  My head snaps his way. I have never heard Cory talk about his wife that way. “Whoa, ma
n. Come on now.”

  “I’m just fed the fuck up right now. I’ll talk to you later.” Cory stands up and walks away from me.

  “Cory, wait.” I follow him out of the bar. “You good to drive? Why don’t we go into town and grab some food?”

  He holds his hand up and waves me off.

  “Come over to my place, and we’ll throw some burgers on the grill.”

  He jumps in his truck. “I’m good. I’m going home to go to bed.”He roars away, barreling down the street.

  I feel like shit. I wish I could call Ali and find out her version of what’s going on. We don’t really have that kind of relationship though. I wish I could believe that Cory is just having a bad day. I know better though. He’s been in this same mood for months now. I don’t know what I can do to help the situation. I’m not exactly experienced in the relationship department.

  After my mess with Rion’s mom, I swore off commitment. I had never felt so alone with someone at my side before, and I never want to feel like that again. This is one of the many times I do believe that ignorance is bliss.

  Even though I knew something has been up with Cory, knowing what it is has my stomach in knots. I turn to walk to my car, almost wishing I hadn’t stopped in here to talk to him.

  Before I can make a clean getaway, Katie is at my side, appearing out of nowhere. “You wanted to talk to me?”She giggles.

  “Uh, yeah.” Shit. “Listen, Katie.”

  She’s smiling, and for a brief minute, I feel bad.

  “Nothing is going to come of what happened. You get that, right?”

  “Well…here’s the thing.” She steps closer to me and places her hands on my chest. “I’m about to be a single woman.”

  Her eyes are gleaming with unrealistic hope of something that will never happen. I really, really wish I had not come here tonight.

  “Katie, listen to me very closely.” I take her hands off my chest and place them at her sides. “I don’t care about your relationship status. I don’t want you to call me baby. There will never be anything between us. Ever.”

  Her jaw drops, and she appears injured. “What the hell have I done?”